From the safety of our American living rooms will live in a fog of igorance. Much of the world faces conflict, and yet we remain obvlivious. However, the time has come to open our North American eyes to a religious war actively being faught on our Northern border.
The Montreal vs New York bagel.
A religious war!? Absolutely! And I’ve already taken up arms! Why? It’s just a bagel, you say? Mais Non! Only someone who hasn’t had a warm, fresh, brick oven bagel melt in their mouth, would ask such a question. How could one compare a bready, dense piece of bread the size of your head with the delicately simple wonder that is a Monteal bagel. Put one in your mouth. Plain, with cream creese and lox. However you want. It matters none. Without any control, a smile appears on your face as you desperately try to make sense of the sensations taking control of your taste buds. Your salivary glands kick into high gear, preping for a royal state visit. The simple human brain can’t comprehend what’s occurring at it’s Southern shore, except that it knows it’s good. Your eyes close, your chewing slows to a savor, the head tilts up as your smile broadens. Your brain needs time. It’s too much. Will reality ever return?
It will. But you are forever changed. You can’t go back to the person you once were. The sky is more blue, the air is clean and fresh. All worry is absent. Joy is everywhere. Who knew the world could be this wonderful.
Choose wisely, my friends: Banality or enlightenment. When you finally make the right choice, I’ll be there with open arms and a welcoming smear of cream cheese, and you’ll then realize the war you didn’t even know about has already been won.